A speech teacher back in South Dakota handed us the quoted text below during class. I don’t know who’s the original author of the list, but I’ve always found it amusing.
Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the “dead horses” I keep trying to revive and wondering when am I ever going to let them go and rest in peace.
Do you have “dead horses” in your life?
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that:
“When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount”.
However, in modern business, education and government, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to……
1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Change riders.
3. Threaten the horse with termination.
4. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
5. Arrange to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
6. Lower the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Reclassify the dead horse as “living impaired”.
8. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harness several dead horses together to increase the speed.
10. Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.
11. Do a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
12. Declare that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly,
carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the
bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
13. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.
14. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.