Do I have something to say….?

I think most people who have ever written a blog post have wondered if what they have just released into the web is worth reading. 

Do I have something to say? Is it relevant? Does anyone care?

I certainly did on the night of December 31, 1999. Everyone else was out partying the new year/century/millennium. I was sitting in front of a computer poking about random stuff. Which really should tell you just how introverted I am.  

I ran across one of those free website things and found myself bored enough to start one. Fifteen years later, I’m still around. 

I have not blogged steadily in that time. Many times I’ve sat down and asked myself if what I have to say really matters, answer ‘no’ and I set the blog to private while I ponder life, cat hair and coffee. 

The content and feel of my blog has changed as often as it has changed servers. Probably more. I like WordPress and will probably linger here. The site might change title again at some point. 

But….15 years. 180 months. 782 weeks. 5479 days. 

I have since, lived in Mexico, Colorado, South Dakota, Okinawa and Alaska. 

I have finished a degree, obtained other certifications. 

I’ve worked as a Library aide, cashier, nurse aide, chemical dependency technician/life skills instructor, youth program aide, general educational paraprofessional, library aide again. 

I’ve married a great man, changed name, become a military spouse, lost two babies and given birth to a third. 

I still don’t know if I have something to say that is relevant to anyone other than me. 

I will continue reading, writing, cooking, drawing, dreaming, rambling and overall being the fool that I am. 

Let’s see what comes out of this. 

Planner time….

[Pictures taken from the seller websites. All rights reserved to their original creators]

I like the feel of paper. I used to write all of my stories longhand and if it weren’t for my wrists, I would probably still be doing it. I also used to be a fan of using planners. Actual paper planners, not digital. At some point, I tried that variety and switched to them to save space.

But I miss the feel of the old fashioned ones. So, I decided to try a planner again this year.

There’s many out on the market with all sorts of bells and whistles. Some are DIY options, some are designed for the OCD person in mind, some are designed for the freestyles, some with a mix of both.

I first thought about going with a basic weekly, hourly layout. But since I’m a stay-at-home mom now, my daily schedule is not as strict anymore. Hourly breakdowns wouldn’t work.

Then, I ran into Erin Condren and even ordered one. If you’re a scrapbooker, this planner will make you happy.

Cons with EC: it’s very expensive and -for me- very colorful. As in, a unicorn galloped across it. You can customize the covers and accessories, but nothing inside.

I sold it almost as soon as I got it. If you want one, use this referral link to create an account: https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/dianaquaintance1111

You’ll get 10% off your order and your own referral link. By following mine to create your account, I get points towards discounts for the accessories I did like :)

 

I ended up going with the following planner:

Plum Paper (starting at $30), sold by: Plum Paper Designs

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Pros:

  • It provides a great many possibilities of customization. The planner itself is very affordable and the add-ons are affordable as well.
  • It’s colorful, but not as in-your-face colorful as the Erin Condren planners are.

Cons:

  • Haven’t really come up with any, except for size. And that has more to do with all the things I have to carry, than with the planner being large.

Next year, I will add customizations now that I’ve had the chance to work with it and have an idea of what I’d like to have.

 

I’m also trying out a popular freestyle planner that’s been around for a while: index cards. You basically take a handful of cards and design them any way you want: dashboard, weekly appointments, current/next month, quotes, reading list, etc. You keep them together with a binder clip.

Why an index card system?

Because I currently need to carry a diaper bag, a purse and a baby when I go out. The Plum Paper Planner is gorgeous and if I had a large enough purse to carry it, I might take it along. I keep my purse small because the diaper bag is already pretty large and stuffed. My index ‘planner’ fits nicely in the small purse.

I’ll update as I use both planner and figure out how they fit in my life.

Until then….have a good one!

 

One or three….

About a year ago, while pregnant with Baby W, someone shared this article with me: “Why miscarriage matters when you’re pro-life”

I have heard almost every single one of the things the author lists, often from those close to me and more than once. I have lost two babies. Early enough in the pregnancy that I don’t know if they were boys or girls. I never got to hear their heartbeats.

I have a baby now and he’s the light of my days, but there is no doubt that I miss the other two as well.

As my due date approached, more than one person said something to me along the lines of “NOW you’re gonna be a Mom”.
And I couldn’t help but start pondering about it. Am I the mother of one child or three? The other two babies might have not made it, but that doesn’t make them any less real to me.

And if I introduce myself as the mother of one, am I denying the other two? I know if I introduce myself as the mother of three and they only see one, they’ll ask about the other two and that will be a very uncomfortable conversation on both sides.

These thoughts keep me up at night sometimes.

Have a good evening.

The voices

In 2011, a movie came out called “Anonymous” about my old pal Shakespeare. It’s controversial enough and there’s historical facts that greatly disprove the theories behind their plot, but there is a scene that I think has one of the most accurate explanations to why me and so many others have to write.

DeVere (allegedly the true author of the Shakespeare plays in this film) is having an argument with his wife, Anne. She cannot understand why he insists on writing plays and he finally gives her an answer:
“The voices, Anne. The Voices, I cannot stop them. They come to me. When I sleep, when I wake, when I sup. When I walk down the hall. The sweet longings of a maiden, the surging ambitions of a courtier, the foul designs of a murderer, the wretched pleas of his victims. Only when I put their words, their voices to parchment are they cast loose, freed. Only then is my mind quieted. At peace. I would go mad if I didn’t write down the voices”.

Yes. That’s why I write. That’s why I draw. If I didn’t, the voices would drag me down into the Abyss and I would go mad. I write. I draw. I have to. Does this make me a little creepy? Probably. But it’s what I’m passionate about.

Have a wonderful day everyone!